Thursday, August 13, 2009

Need To Vent...

So on Tuesday evening after work I was on my way to class and I received a call from my husband. He started off the conversation pretty casually and then broke out with "I have a question for you about something." I thought, "This is not good", because usually this is something he wants to asks and already knows my answer will be no.

Then he says "So I was talking with my parents and they are wanting to rent a condo at the lake next summer also and was wondering if instead of us getting a 2 bedroom condo like this year, if we we would instead like to get a 3 bedroom with them and split it." Immediately I said "I would rather not."

I have several reasons for this, all of which I explained to him. One being they go to bed so early and when we go to the lake we generally stay up pretty late. Next summer may be the last one before kiddos and I want to enjoy it without worrying about bothering them. Right now they come down everyone once in awhile to stay with us and so it works out. Plus, his parents are already looking for a boat. We have one (which is why we rent the condo for the summer) and generally invite friends, or my family, or his family down with us when go. I assume his parents will want to invite people too once they have a boat. I just think it will be too hectic trying to plan who is going to invite who what weekend so that we can be sure we have enough room.

So now my husband is upset with me. He has barely spoke to me for the last 2 days. I am so frustrated because I feel like he should really understand why I feel this way. I think that if he would just get past the saving money part, he would see it my way too. It is not like we are going to spend more next year than we are used to, since we will be doing just exactly what we did this year. I know his parents and I know they will probably think that I just don't want them down there now, but that is far from the truth. Honestly, I would think they should understand the points I had made and would not have even asked in the first place. Especially since his dad brought it up casually a few weeks back and I told him that I would rather not. I just want our own place (like we have been doing) to enjoy as we please. I know they were probably upset when he told them that I had said I did not want to it the way he suggested. I know he does not want to upset them, but we are supposed to be a team and he is not even trying to see it from the point of view of what would be best for us. And I think that by not talking to me is not going to help matters.

I know this will pass any day, but I want to say something to him about what I am feeling, but do not know exactly how to say so that he sees that I understand his point of saving money, but this is what is best for us. Any suggestions? Am I being unreasonable?

3 comments:

Alaina @ Three Ladies and a Dad said...

You are not being unreasonable. I completely see where you are coming from. His parent's go to the lake to relax (right?) with friends and while you relax I am sure with friends throughout the day, you have different night schedules. I could see how it would clash. You should not have to feel bad about wanting to stay up later than they do and if you are like I think you are, you will. It is not fair to either of you and his parent's for that matter. I hope that helps, not sure if I gave you any suggestions but I wanted to tell you are being fair.

Is there a way a happy medium could be reached? It sounds like there isn't, but it is something to think about.

Love you guys!

Katie said...

oh don't you love married politics? ...can be so frustrating. I can see both your points...

But, why fix what isn't broken, right? if its worked going just you two, then just go with you two...

and to be honest...I think when you do have kids you will WANT his parents to be there for extra support and help...so, take the time alone while you can.

Mrs. Dirnberger said...

I feel ya sista! You are not being unfair or anything..you are only trying to PREPARE ahead of time and make everyone happy. Sometimes adults just dont' have as much fun as us younger adults and two different mixes of crowds wont work. You dont 'want to always be trying to please everyone..just please yourselfs. I understand how it could all be a mess and he will come around too